If Chocolate Were a Woman, I May Be Divorced

Dark.  Sweet.  Rich. 

That’s just how Brian likes them. 

I’m sure you married folks can attest that being married for nearly nine years doesn’t come without temptation.  But as my mother told me, ‘Don’t ever get divorced.  It’s too expensive.’  (Spoken like true former nun.)  Over the years, there have been other ‘women’ in Brian’s life, but I have always succeeded in driving them away…until now. 

Like when we first got married, there were those string of Trucks.  His love affair with that beat-up red pickup never bothered me…until one day he replaced it with a new, shiny black one.  (Don’t ask me their names – I never did.)  And then, he upgraded to an even bigger, sleeker one with leather interior.  But four years ago, on his own volition (wink), he purchased a nice Kia Spectra (Made in Korea, for anyone who’s counting). 

And then, there was that really pesky witch that just wouldn’t go away – Candida.  She really had our attention for years, ensuring that we accommodated her every request and boy, she was an angry one!  But after months of stuffing him with enough vegetables and whole foods, she died.  I can’t say I ever mourned her loss – she had what was coming to her. 

But now, there is a ‘lady’ I just can’t seem to shake.  I have to admit, she’s beautiful, classy, and even the kids love her.  I can’t say I mind having her around either.  Sweet dark chocolate.  She quietly sits up on the shelf.  His love for her hasn’t gone unnoticed either.  As one of our customers commented, ‘I noticed that Brian has somewhat of a chocolate…fetish.’  Uh…that’s a gross understatement, Paul. Problem.  Obsession.  Condition.  And yet, she makes him happy and calm (and he’s even cleaning the kitchen now).  I hate to be so cliché but if you can’t beat them, eat them…I mean, join them.

We gave you a chocolate break this week (Sesame Cranberry Cookies) in anticipation of all those chocolate bunnies running around this weekend.  But she’ll be back.  Ladies and gentlemen, watch your mate…if they haven’t yet been lured by this temptress.  Organic.  Fair-trade.  Allergen-free.  For crying out loud, she’s practically Mother Teresa.  Order these cookies today…before you-know-who finds the chocolate.  Without being overly dramatic – this could save your relationship!